Day264 - Subjective Objective

Last night - or rather early this morning - I was browsing pictures that included myself, when I chanced upon the strangest sensation: that of a disassociated state. I could see me for me, without the cloud of personality and inherent associations that come with an image that is viewed daily, and one that continues to change so subtly and slowly before one's own eyes.

Most significantly, I saw myself as others see me - at least, through my own reality tunnel.

Some may have the ability to do this already but it's one I had never experienced before.

It is difficult to recapture today, but as with a steriogram, once the method has been unlocked, it can be accessed again with decreasing effort upon each iteration.

Maybe it was the headspace I was in that brought about the epiphany: a milieu of tidal waters dipped in beauty that drew back in to replace those which had been sucked out in the earlier rip.

Either way, I am glad to accept this as part of the enlightenment I've enjoyed over the last few years. I feel my strength only growing, physically, emotionally, spiritually. Commencement of my journey to becoming an elder, perhaps.

But I do know this: I am glad beyond words to not have lost that which I was prepared - and devastatingly unhappy - to lose.

Blessed once with knowing.

Blessed twice with insight.

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A song I haven't listened to in far too long. Pure inspiration.

The Black Crowes - Thorn in my Pride

Wake me when the day breaks
Show me how the sun shines
Tell me about your heartaches
Who could be so unkind?
Do you dream to touch me?
And smile down deep inside
Or could you just kill me?
It's hard to make up your mind, sometimes.

My angels, my devils, my thorn in my pride.

Are you wanting inspiration
You spill your secrets on me
Then you tell me with a whisper
Of things that will never be.
Do you hear me breathing?
Does it make you want to scream?
Did you ever like a bad dream?
Sometimes life is obscene.

My angels, my devils, my thorn in my pride.

Lover cover me with your sleep
Let your love light shine
Lover cover me with a good dream
Let your love light shine

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