Day325 - Never Doubt

It's the ultimate in sadness when one equates maturity with the loss of dreams.

I will never.

If I ever need a reminder, it is in the endless blue and wind of memory, surrounded by gold, at the pulpit, in the crispness of air, never freer, complete and home.

I will always.

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Click to listen: Placebo - Narcoleptic

Slip and stumble at my first fences
It's not treason, it's no lie
You talk in paragraphs
I write my sentence
It's not treason, it's no lie

It seemed a place for us to dream x 2

Crush and crumble under your defenses
It's not treason, it's no lie
You frame the photograph
I sit on fences
Change of season, love can die

It seemed a place for us to dream x 4

If we tear out the tumor
It's later, never sooner
If we tear out the tumor
It's later, never sooner

It seemed a place for us to dream x 2

You'd better keep it in check
Or you'll end up a wreck
And you'll never wake up
You'd better keep it in check
Or you'll end up a wreck
And you'll never wake up
Wake up x3

It seemed a place for us to dream x 2

You'd better keep it in check
Or you'll end up a wreck
And you'll never wake up x 4
Wake up

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Day324 - "That's Some Catch"

I'm currently slowpoking my way through the most excellent Catch-22 - very fun & very clever, it's the sort of book one doesn't want to end.

I hear the phrase itself often, and for a long time didn't know it's meaning, so avoided using it. For those that want immediate gratification, here is a fantastic site which deserves to be shared with the world: the Online Etymology Dictionary, defining Catch-22.

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Day323 - Hugging & Tickling

Because I'd already used this title.

I just finished watching the season 4 finale of Californication. I'm tempted to go back and re-watch from the first season, as I'm not sure I had quite the appreciative eye upon first viewing that I do after 4 years. It may also be that the "realness" of the stories & characters were somewhat distracting from their depth.

I enjoy art that pulls no punches, explores whichever topic the story demands, and employs only self-censorship for impact, over adhering to another's definition of obscenity. Passionate language and nudity are beautiful aspects of life & should be celebrated and I won't pretend they don't exist. Nor do I find Californication gratuitous in the slightest - for a dose of gratuitousness, there is always the nightly news.

This is a show with layers, easily obscured by those nearer to the surface, for their luminescence. One comes away with the feeling that the writers actually care about their dialogue - to the extent that they might just be aware that they're creating poetry with every script. The visuals match and the humour sticks.

Perhaps I should be concerned that I relate so well to the character of a 50yo father of one, separatee and general manchild. But he squeezes the all out of life and has known and knows true love, and there is something so beautiful in that, which redeems all.

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"You know exactly where to find me,
and that's what scares the shit out of you;
the fact that I am real, not some ghost."

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I had the same impatient urge this time a year ago when I considered the 9 month wait between episodes.

The finale finished with an excellent sequence accompanied by the following song. I couldn't help but snigger.

Click to listen: The Rolling Stones - You Can't Always Get What You Want

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Day322 - Warmth

Awakened with a headache - that I didn't even realize I had until I took a moment to think about my cold symptoms and red, red eyes - I pondered yesterday and the 3 before, spent in SE Queensland, visiting the Mermaid, family and friends.

While Sydney has been very good to me, I've long held a desire to relocate to one of my top 3 destinations, and landing on Friday, I immediately felt the air greet me, embracing & welcoming back.

More & more I feel the pull to warmer climes. There is much to consider with such a move, but with only one thing holding me here, and it's grip sadly loosening with each day, I feel the inevitability.

There have been a couple of instances where coming back to my current base - I don't think of as 'home' - was somewhat of a downer, and I count yesterday amongst them, but maybe this was tied up with the semi-rotten feeling of flu-dom.

A side-effect of which has had the last couple of nights fraught with dreams. I haven't dreamt this much in months. Part of me doesn't want to remember them upon waking, but they are of the calibre that will not let me cast them aside and I can feel them pushing through the surface to consciousness, more & more each day, processing.

A couple have made it through: one dream supremely significant in that it has been repeated since my late teens and once again more recently than I'd realized - though it has grown, expanded on itself - that of a place which I am destined to call home; in warmer climes.

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Click to listen: Fleetwood Mac - I Don't Want To Know

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Day317 - Fucking and Punching

The title comes from a fictional novel from Californication - the wonderfully debaucherous show featuring a character based in part on the equally wonderful & debaucherous Charles Bukowski.

As another enjoyable season draws to a close, I can't help but admire David Duchovny's excellent physique. While forever a fan of the feminine form, a well-chiselled masculine body can be equally beautiful.

Arnold Schwarzenegger attained perfection in 1970, with the aid of steroids yes, but not to diminish the massive effort & determination that was the driving force. The problem with increasing mass to such an extent is the post-career leftovers - unless continuing to train for life, the body will wave goodbye to it's glory days and leave the owner with nothing but memories and a double appetite.

For a 50 year old, Duchovny has the "beautiful" part nailed - at least as far as the body goes.

When I see a man of his age in such good shape, the words ring in my ears: no excuses.

Also, and randomly, I've always thought that he has the eyes of Barney Rubble.

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Karen: "If you were going to have sex with someone and you knew it would be the absolute last time, what do you think it would be like?"

Hank: "I think it would be incredibly sad."

Karen: "Yeah, so do I. Make me sad."

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Reunion (complete with the return of the handlebar-moustached bassist) and album #3 on it's way!

Click to listen: The Darkness- Love is Only a Feeling

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Day311 - Hiding Oneself In Distractions

Much work and much play makes bobby distracted muchly.

Yet also makes for exhaustion & wonder.

"I am half sick of shadows."

And ideal for it.

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Click to listen: Neil Young - Heart of Gold

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