Day103 - Newfound Strings

Today (now yesterday) was turbulent. A mixture of anxiety about flying tomorrow, excitement at the prospect of spending a week with my daughter, and a 3rd factor that has been nagging at me lately.

I'm never anxious about the flight itself - in fact I quite enjoy flying on newer aircraft - but instead of missing it. I tell myself I should remain calm & relaxed like I typically am, safe in the knowledge that I have never actually missed a flight, but it remains one more challenge to be overcome. The day the anxiety leaves is the day I start missing flights, I jest.

I had such a lovely time during Bubble's visit in June - I expected it to go well, but it surpassed expectations. We connected on a new level, as her awareness has expanded and enlightenment increased. As such I've been looking forward to resuming that connection, making the most of it while it's available to me.

The 3rd factor is a feeling that things aren't right, aren't as they're supposed to be. It plays with me, sometimes hurting, other times leaving me wistful. I try all the distractions I can, but this remains. Sometimes I just can't shake it at all. I guess it's a sign of something much deeper than I'd experienced before, and that can never be negative. Always see the positive.

I didn't want to go home tonight. The distraction in play was weekly drinks at the marble bar in the office. As usual, the hoards disappeared within a few hours, leaving a small circle to chat. I like this part of the night, it's like a campfire setting, instead with cushions, sofas and air conditioning. There are enough people on our floor to make it a unique experience most Fridays, and hopefully make new friends, or get to know old friends just that much better. This was no exception - the panel consisted of:
-a master theologian & graphic designer
-a self-help novelist & entrepreneur
-a tri-athlete & PR consultant
-a promotions & advertising graphic designer
-myself, musician & IT consultant

The night ended in the ad designer taking me into one of the back offices wherein were secreted away a pair of guitars. We played for each other until it was realised that we were no longer doing the songs any justice & called it a night.

I love the fact that there are guitars on the floor.

After heading home, I barely slept. I took the yearning & let it burst forth in beautiful words. Because at it's essence, it is a beautiful thing. Pure love. Pure knowing. Recognition.

How rare a thing this is.

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Pure amazing:

Def Leppard - Hysteria

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